Self-confidence is essentially an attitude which allows us to have a clear and realistic perception of ourselves and our abilities. It is characterised by personal attributes such as assertiveness, optimism, enthusiasm, affection, pride, independence, trust, the potential to deal with criticism and emotional maturity.
Confidence is learned, it is not inherited. If you lack confidence, it probably means that, as a child, you were criticised, undermined, or suffered an inexplicable tragic loss, for which you whether blamed yourself or were blamed by others. A lack of belief isn't necessarily permanent but it can be if it isn't addressed. Our religion, the work on of the culture which formed our perspectives, our gender, public class and our parents, in particular, are all factors which work on and contribute to our level of belief and esteem.
Mask
Confident population have deep faith in their future and can accurately assess their capabilities. They also have a normal sense of operate in their lives and believe that, within reason, they will be able to do what they desire, plan and expect, no matter what the foreseeable obstacle. But this faith is guided by more realistic expectations so that, even when some of their goals are not met, those with belief continue to be positive, to believe in themselves and to accept their current limitations with renewed energy. However, having high self-confidence does not mean they will be able to do all they want. That view is unrealistic, one for the perfectionists. A desire to be good at all we do in order to impress others stems from a contentious instinct and lack of personal reinforcement. Any truly flourishing life has both rewards and the potential to learn from any setbacks, which growth our resilience, self- belief and determination. Real belief requires that we face the possibility of failure constantly and deal with it. However, if we consistently lose out on both achievement and validation, even our identity is called into question.
Self-esteem is the conception you have of yourself. It is based upon how you comprehend your value as a person, particularly with regard to the work you do, your status, achievements, purpose in life, your perceived place in the public order, inherent for success, strengths and weaknesses; how you narrate to others and your potential to stand on your own feet. Because esteem is a perception of your worth, your own value of yourself dictates how others comprehend you too. Buddhists classify low self-esteem as "a negative emotion or delusion, which exaggerates one's limitations in capacity, potential and inherent for growth". It results from having a poor self-image agreeing to personal caress in all the elements of life mentioned above. population with poor esteem never feel in charge of their lives. They often feel like victims, or outsiders - ignored, excluded, unimportant, insignificant and unloved. As they spend their lives internalising the criticism of others, taking it to heart while searching constantly for that elusive acknowledgment, their personal estimation will reflect itself in the estimation of others - no more, no less. But if we allow others to take operate of decisions we should make, we moderately become dependent upon them too, abdicating accountability for our lives, which tends to lead to us being doormats for other people's benefit.
Low self-esteem usually has three sides. The first is exhibited by the private who all the time seems to be the underdog, the under-achiever, the negative one who says "I couldn't", "I shouldn't", "I can't", "I have no choice" and "I have to". The opposite side to that, and the second type, is the person who seems very clear superficially, a take-charge type of person, appearing to be much in control, very opinionated and often found in leadership positions. But this is usually a mask for low self-esteem because he/she is likely to be tense, serious, anxious and finicky. When things go wrong that's when the low esteem comes to the fore. Often perfectionists, they find crises difficult to deal with and tend to blame others for everything. They are usually demanding, self-centred, very independent, markedly self-sufficient in their distrust of others and slow to take criticism, schooling or direction. Locked in their own narrow world, they dread new experiences, all the time going by the book and resenting innovation. In effect, occupying leadership positions without being true leaders. This type of low self-esteem will often deny that whatever is wrong, because their belief in being totally in charge and more competent than their bosses or subordinates, is their main protection. Yet being fully in charge of your life easily eliminates the need for anger, insecurity and the desire to judge, operate or denigrate others.
Fun Seekers
The third type of personality is the one who is all the time seeking fun and happiness from others, especially partners and love interests. Laughter becomes a mask for the low conception these population have of themselves, so all is done with an emphasis on 'fun' to make them feel worthy - whether seeing it or giving it. Sensitive and thin-skinned, fun population have very low self-esteem, hiding their anxieties behind a bland mask of cheerful superficiality that tends to grate on others after a time because they don't know when to stop being happy and playing the fool. Like the office clown who tries terribly hard to show how 'happy' she is, yet is whatever but that; the practical joker who likes to laugh at the price of others, particularly through racist, sexist or nasty quips - whatever to feel superior; the lad who is all the time hanging out with friends because he cannot stand his own face or firm for any length of time; the type who loves a dare, particularly in doing outrageous things, to show his bravado, talent and machismo, and the ones who boast to inherent dates about being able to make them laugh and keep them happy.
In relationships, fun population find it hard to commit to others because of their acute public fears. The main desirable attribute they offer to inherent partners is 'fun', all the time seeking laughter, sex and good times to hide their insecurity and pain. However, as 'fun' population all the time try too hard, they are in fact the most boring, mirthless population around, the type who have itsybitsy humour themselves. It then becomes heavy work for their partners. This is because laughter has to be found within us. No one can make us happy, only enhance that happiness. Fun people's method of feeling critical is to be the centre of attention in a more clear way. But, as their operation is often not genuine, more to hide their low belief than to enhance it, their effort isn't easily effective. They never openly address their personal pain or hurt. They are reluctant to trust others and are even more reluctant to commit themselves to anyone, which makes them feel insignificant if they are not being perennially happy lads or laddettes. To behave otherwise would deny them the attention they crave.
Many population with low self-esteem gravitate towards the uniformed and public services where they can use the power invested in them, while being validated by the uniform and authority, to boost their self- belief and ego. The accurate hierarchy affords the security of a given status, reinforces the 'traditions' to be maintained, and the consistent feedback they require. However, that is also what makes turn so difficult to introduce in these occupational fields. The fear of innovation and the lack of self-belief to carry it out foil them every time. Very clear population tend to become scientists, engineers, entrepreneurs, writers or creative, artistic types, preferring to operate their own environment and destiny. The commercial, media and technology spheres also appear to supply the leisure of expression and the font of opening they actively seek.
The Definition of trust
0 comments:
Post a Comment